What is Sexual Violence?

Sexual violence can be described as unwanted sexual activity (without your consent) involving one or more of the following;

Manipulation
Bullying
Pressure
Deception
Threats
Force
Intimidation

Although attacks/assaults by strangers do happen, statistics show that stranger sexual violence actually accounts ‘for one of the smallest proportions of recorded sexual offences‘ (ifas). Victims/survivors of sexual violence are more likely to be attacked by someone they know and/or trust, e.g by a family member, a close friend, a co–worker, or a partner or an ex–partner.

Between 2020–2025, the Office of National Statistics revealed that 16.3% of recorded sexual assaults were committed by a stranger.
43.2% of recorded sexual offences were committed by a partner or an ex–partner (between 2020–2025).

What Is Consent?

You are a victim/survivor of sexual violence if you’re under the legal age of consent (too young), and/or a vunerable person who doesn’t have the freedom or capacity to make the choice.

There are a few key considerations to take into account when assessing the ‘meaning‘ of consent;

16 is the legal age for consent in the UK.
All parties engaging in the sexual activity/ies cannot legally give consent if they are drunk, asleep, unconscious, and/or on drugs.
It’s NOT consent, if any of the parties involved in the sexual activity DO NOT UNDERSTAND what sex is.
It’s NOT consent, if any of the individuals involved in the sexual activity feel threatened, coerced, and/or, do NOT feel safe saying NO.
‘Consent must be actively sought, and given freely, by someone who has the capacity to consent‘ (sarsas.org.uk).
Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
You don‘t have to consent to all types of sexual touching.

CONSENT= AGREEING BY CHOICE!

There are many different types of sexual violence which include the following;

Rape
Child Sexual Abuse
Assault by Penetration
Sexual Exploitation
Stealthing (form of rape)
Indecent Exposure or ‘Flashing’
Sexual Assault
Sex-Trafficking
FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)
Spiking
Cyber-Flashing

[“This list is by no means exhaustive, unfortunately, there are many variations of sexual violence”.]

“Consent means that all people involved in any kind of sexual activity agree to take part by choice. They also need to have the freedom and capacity to make that choice“.

SARSA

Statistics

In England and Wales, 2 in 5 rapes against women were carried out by a partner or an ex–partner.
1 in 100 recorded rapes result in charges (does this mean that rape is basically decriminalised in England & Wales?).
1 in 3 adult survivors experienced it in their own home.
1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.
1 in 6 children have been sexually abused.
1 in 8 men have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.
Long waits, it takes an average of 2 years to complete in court.
91% of people prosecuted for sexual offences are men aged 18 and over.
6 in 7 rapes are carried out by someone the victim knows.
7 in 8 men don’t report it.
5 in 6 women don’t report it.
As of March 2025 6.3 million women have been raped and sexually assaulted since the age of 16.
1 in 2 survivors have experienced it more than once.
739,000 women are raped or sexually assaulted every year.

Statistics show that women are more likely to be the victims of sexual violence. But is this true? Is there something stopping male victims from coming forward?

Males make up 5–10% of rape or sexual assault victims/survivors across ‘the west nations‘.
The first man to be convicted for male on male rape (in England and Wales) was in 1995.
Male rape or sexual assault victims/survivors are less likely to come forward.
The societal expectations of men i.e men are strong and can defend and protect themselves from violence or sexual assaults, (may have a role in the underreporting of sexual violence against men).

How society percieves crimes of this nature (sexual violence against men) ‘impact upon how victims/survivors respond to their own experience‘ (journal of forensic & legal medicine), an example of this would be the non–disclosure of the event because of the fear of not being believed (because they’re a man etc). We can see how this is very harmful to male victims/survivors of sexual violence, not only because failing to report the crime leaves the perpertrator free to walk the streets, therefore posing a risk to everyone, but it also hinders the victims/survivors ability to access the specialised support services that can submit referals for counselling/therapy sessions, and will assist you throughout the criminal proceedings. That being said however, even if you don’t want to, or if you’re not ready to report the crime to the police, there are still plenty of confidential support services you can access via live chat, email, and/or the telephone, that will give you advice and support going forward.

I think it’s of the upmost importance that men are aware of the support available to them, and that being the victim/survivor of any type of sexual violence IS NOT YOUR FAULT, the SHAME and/or BLAME you’re feeling, is not yours to feel…it’s theirs (those monsters). Society doesn’t judge you for the violations you’ve suffered at the hands of your abuser, we judge them, those villainous creatures. Please don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from coming forward and reporting the crime, you deserve to be protected from these types of abuses (any form of sexual violence) as much as women do. Don’t let ‘Rape Myths‘ stop you from telling your story and seeking the justice you deserve.

The Blame Game…

Many victims/survivors of sexual violence often blame themselves for what happened to them. Some question whether they did or said something that could have provoked the attack, and others question whether it was because of the outfit they wore that day. Or sometimes, we even question whether it was ‘real‘ sexual violence at all. But, it’s not only us (victims/survivors) that question this, in fact, society as a whole has debated this for decades.

We have to wonder then, where does this victim–blaming, self–blame, and overall skeptism emenate from? And question what role, if any, the media, film, tv, literature, and music, play in these negative attitudes and behaviours towards victims/survivors of sexual violence.

Studies suggest that ‘Rape Culture‘, and ‘Rape Myths’ have created this negative stigma.

What Are Rape Myths?

Unfortunately, ‘Rape Myths‘ hold a lot of power in our society and negatively affect how victims/survivors are viewed by others. These ‘myths‘ are also said to play a role in the shockingly low charging and conviction rates of rape and other sexual related crimes.

According to the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service), the crime of rape is commonly misunderstood, and argue the importance of separating ‘fact‘ from ‘fiction‘.

So What Are These Myths?

Women who take drugs or drink alcohol deserve to be raped.
Women who dress a certain way (provocotatively) deserve to be raped.
Women lie about being raped and/or sexually assaulted for attention and/or revenge, and/or because they regret having sex with someone.
If a person doesn’t scream, fight–off, or run–away, it’s not rape.
If she/he didn’t say ‘NO‘ then it’s not rape.
It’s not rape if it’s your partner/husband/wife committing the sexual violence (rape is always rape).
Women play ‘hard to get‘, if they say ‘NO‘, it really means ‘YES’.
Victims/survivors should act a certain way.
If they don’t have visible injuries it’s not sexual violence.
If they have an orgasim or arousal it’s not sexual violence.

The power they hold…

Victims/survivors feel shame and/or blame.
Victims/survivors don’t feel heard, or they fear they won’t be believed.
Negatively affects how society views victims/survivors of sexual violence.
Plays a part in the shockingly low charging and conviction rates.

This ‘Rape Myth‘ culture is really toxic, dangerous, and damaging to all victims/survivors of sexual violence. It’s harrowing to know that many, many, victims/survivors of sexual violence do not disclose the event to the police and/or someone they trust (family/friend) because of the stigma attached to it. Firstly, i would like to say, ‘THIS IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM, YOUR FAULT. Secondly, statistics show that false allegations of rape and sexual violence are extremely rare, and lastly, just because a person doesn’t say ‘NO’, does NOT mean that it isn’t RAPE!!!

(We tend to freeze during these types of violations, this is one of our bodies automatic responses to protect us.)

What Is Rape Culture?

In our society, rape and sexual violence seems to be normalised, played–down, laughed–off, not challenged, accepted or excused. This might be, inpart, due to the way women and girls are depicted in the media, literature, music, film, and on tv, for example, women are regulary hyper–sexualised, objectified, and spoken about in a sexual or sensual context, and simply here for the pleasure and entertainment of men. Whether it be in a song lyric, a book you’re reading, or a film you are watching, violence and sexual violence against women is often glamourised or shows their boundaries not being respected. Therefore, sexual violence and violence against women becomes normalised, and in some cases, even rationalised.

Rape Culture Exists Because…

Women are deemed less important than men.
Women are less deserving of respect and power.
Cat-Calls.
Sexist.
Inappropriate jokes.
Inappropriate sexual comments.
Society ‘Norms‘: Society tells women what they should wear and how their bodies should look (not sexual enough, or too sexual).
Men commit this crime against people they know or apparently love.
Women too scared to speak up.
Women see no point in reporting the crime out of fear of not been believed or been blamed.
Men commit sexual violence/violence/abuse and other men don’t challenge it.
Men don’t respect womens boundaries (when a women says NO, they continue to approach/ask).
People benefit monetarily from the making and distribution of pornagraphic films and indecent images that are often very extreme, violent, and explicit in content.
The sexual exploitation of women and girls e.g, through prostitution and/or trafficking.

When the above happens on a continual basis across society, it becomes culture.

Rape Culture Is…

The reason why sexual violence and abuse is common among/against women.
‘Rape Culture‘ is part of the reason why perpertrators of sexual violence are rarely brought to justice.
Society often ‘makes excuses for perpertrators, or find a reason to blame the victim for what happened to them or that they somehow deserved it‘ (ifas).
Why people often don’t believe the victim/survivor (family/friends/jurors/police).
People making money.
Not enough funding for supporting victims/survivors of sexual violence and abuse i.e emotional & psychological support/advocacy/counselling/financial help/other help/practical help.

Did you know?

1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted and/or raped since the age of 16.
1 in 6 are children have been sexually abused.
91% of people prosecuted for sexual crimes are males aged 18+.
9 in 10 girls and young women in schools or other educational settings say they have experienced sexual name–calliing and have been sent unwanted ‘dick pics‘ and other images that are sexual in content.
1 in 18 men raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.
1 in 2 adult rape victims/survivors have experienced it more than once.
Most victims/survivors of rape don’t report it because they think that the police couldn’t help, and/or because of embarrassment/humiliation.
9 in 10 victims/survivors of sexual abuse say it was committed by a male perpertrator.
94% of the adults that are raped every year are women.
7 in 8 men don’t report being raped.
6 in 7 rapes against women are perpertrated by someone they know.
Of the 71,227 rapes recorded in 2024-end of ‘24‘, only 2.7% brought charges, meaning that fewer than 3 in 100 recorded rapes resulted in someone being charged.
5 in 6 women who are raped don’t report it.
2 in 5 rapes against women are perpertrated by a partner or an ex–partner.
As of March ‘25‘ 6.3 million women had been sexually assaulted or raped since the age of 16.
Adult rape cases take 2 years on average to complete in court.
There’s approximately 14,749 sexual offence cases waiting to go to trial.
A survivor/victim of sexual violence is expected to wait 441 days before their trial is heard.

WOW!🫨These statistics are staggering, and yet, i bet these numbers are nothing close to reallity. It’s likely the number of victims/survivors of sexual violence is far greater because these statistics are only from those individuals that have reported the sexual offence/s, and from others that participated in studies/surveys.

Remember that…being the victim of any form of sexual violence IS NOT YOUR FAULT! The BLAME lies with the predators that savagely, and unmercily, seek to take away our identities, our sense of safety, and our faith and trust in others.

Patriarchal Ideolgy

The word patriarchy (patriarkhé’/s) is derived from Greek meaning ‘rule of the father’. Historcally, the father was the head of the family, and were the providers that influenced the family dynamics, including their religious beliefs and values. Whilst women, were typically expected to rear children, carry out domestic duties, and be subserviant to the male. This has been entrenched in our culture/s for centuries, and it highlights the power imbalance between men and women, which is still prevelant to this day.

Patriarchal ideology is a social system said to be designed by key elements such as, male–dominance, male–centredness, and male–identification. It’s worth noting though, that no two patriarchal systems will be the same, this is due to different cultures, values and practices. Systems are typically influenced by geography, religion and language.

“Male dominance perpetuates beliefs and practices that consciously or unconsciously, favour men“.

Pillar For Peace

Key Characteristics of Patriarchial Systems…

Gender-Based Violence: Patriarchy often encourages, normalises, and excuses violence against women, including domestic abuse and violence, coercive control, and sexual harrassment. It also has an affect on reproductive right’s i.e abortion and contraception.
Economic Inequality: Patriarchial norms limit employment opportunites and access to education for women, who often have lower paying and insecure jobs (wage gaps).
Social Order: Patriarchy creates heirarchies based on gender. The patriarchal system therefore, assigns greater status, privilege, power, and dominance to men. This influences respect, desicion making roles, and access to resources in society.
Restrictive Laws & Policies: Patriarchal values influence and shape law’s and policies that restrict womens rights and freedoms. For example, in 2019, abortion became decriminalised in Northern Ireland, which highlights the legal control over womens bodies.
Enforced Gender Roles: Historically, gender roles were shaped by patriarchal values and beliefs. Men were the providers and women were the caregivers, therefore limiting individual choice and reinforcing inequality.

By these standards then, women are almost expected to experience violence, discrimination, and be blamed or belittled for being a victim of sexual violence. This gender–based ideology is very dangerous and it can also negatively, impact men, i.e the societal expectations of men is that they typically act and display masculine traits. They are expected to be assertive, strong, rational and even aggressive.

Examples of patriarchal influence;

Gender Pay Gap: Men earn more money than women for the equivalent work across most sectors.
Male Dominated Politics: Politics and political institutions are typically controlled by men, therefore, limiting the influence of women on public policy.
Unpaid Domestic Labour: Women have a disproportinate share of caregiving duties and unpaid domestic work, that’s often ignored and undervalued.
Male Dominated Sports: Mens sport recieves more societal support, media coverage and funding than womens sport.
Occupational Segregation: Women are underrepresented in science, technology, engineering, and maths (STEM), whilst being overly represented in ‘service based jobs and caregiving roles, this is often due to systemic barriers and societal expectations‘ (pillarsforpeace).

‘Patriarchal ideology is the idea that men have more power, dominance, and privilege than women. Patriarchy is a social system in which men are thought to hold positions of power in both the public and private spheres. Women, on the other hand, are believed to be in less privileged positions and are oppressed by a patriarchal society‘.

Simply Psychology

Surely these mysogynistic concepts are pre–dated, outdated, and completely out of touch with the modern–era and the modern woman. But shockingly, these archaic concepts are still prevelant today, for example, the United Nation‘s Development program revealed that 9 out of 10 men and women worldwide still hold these gender–based biases.

We must ask ourselves, can this ideology be linked to the statistics that suggest that women are more likely to be attacked, raped/sexually assaulted, or murdered by a male perpertrator?

“Patriarchy does not refer to any man or collection of men, but a kind of society in which men and women participate…A society is patriarchal to the degree that it promotes male privellage, by being male-dominated, male-identified, and male-centred. It is also organised around an obsessionwith control and involves as one of it’s key aspects, the oppression of women“.

Allan Johnson

How Do We Prevent Sexual Violence?

The statistics undoubtedly speak for themselves…sexual violence is widespread, it’s global, and there’s no sign of it stopping. But how can we inspire and evoke any sort of change, when sometimes, the very people we speak about on YVM (perpertrators), are quite often people in the highest echelons of society, they sit at the very top! Some hold positions of power as they govern our countries. Some work in our schools, and some in our universities. Others hide behind a dazzling smile and a caring nature as they lure us to our hell. What i’m trying to say is…unfortunately, the world is full of predators searching for their vunerable and unsuspecting prey, and although we can’t stop evil, we can educate and inspire our children, and the generation that comes after them, about the respect and boundaries we should all have for one another, and how to be kind and gentle in matters of the heart. We need to teach them from an early age about healthy relationships, and how to spot red flags and dangerous behaviours. We need a shared ‘understanding of the gravity/reality of the problem (sexual violence)’ (Jill Radford et al) so that we can build solutions and tailor the support needed for victims/survivors of sexual violence.

“If you, or someone you know has been a victim/survivor of sexual violence, CALL 999 only if it’s SAFE for you to do so. If you choose not to report the crime, there are specialised support services that are available 24/7 such as RapeCrisis UK.